It's JUNEAGANZA!!! *sigh* Okay, I'm running out of titles for the IWM Blog Tour, and it shows. The only other one I had left was "Juney Tooty Fresh & Fruity,"
which doesn't even make sense.
Just an alien, out for a stroll.
MOVE ALONG NOTHING
TO SEE HERE.
IWM, by the way, is an acronym for "Indie Writers Monthly," and is a blog and magazine put out by 5 great speculative fiction writers, wherein these writers give you tips on publishing, writing, selling your books, and also generally being devastatingly good-looking. Seriously: we're like supermodels, if supermodels had been crossed with Greek Gods and Goddesses. (No offense to you Norse-mythology lovers out there, but let's face it: Nobody's ever thought Odin was the bees knees, lookwise.)
This is part four (I think?) of this modestly-titled tour, which presents to you
ALL THE REASONS YOU SHOULD BE READING
INDIE WRITERS MONTHLY
THAT ARE ABSOLUTELY FACT-BASED
AND IN NO WAY EXAGGERATED
SO YOU CAN'T SUE US PROBABLY.
Part 1 appeared on Sizzling Hot YA Books, and told how reading IWM will teach you how to time travel.
Part 2 appeared on lit, a place for stories, and told how reading IWM will give you super powers.
Part 3 appeared on Laws Of Gravity, and showed how IWM brings your childhood friends to life.
Part 4 was on Life Is Good, and pointed out that we have The Blutonian Death Egg, and so you'd better let us be in charge.
And so we come to number 5:
WE CAN CLONE YOU.
No foolin'! Did you ever get up in the morning and think to yourself "Why am I getting out of bed like a sucker and going into my job when I could send my CLONE to do the work and I could just lay around all day watching Jerry Springer and eating last night's leftover pizza, speaking of which, is there any pizza left over from last night, and is Jerry Springer still on TV?"
I think that, like, ten times a day. (I am not proud of myself.)(A little, I am.)
Aside from that obvious use of cloning technology, having a clone -- or clones -- of yourself would be useful in numerous other situations, like if a team of ninjas comes to the door to steal back the Jade Dragon, and you've got to make a quick getaway, your clones can distract them. Or you could form a band! Has there ever been a band made entirely of clones? Not that the government will admit. Enough said.
How do we, at IWM, have access to this technology? Simple: We have an actual scientist, and she's not a hostage or anything! Meet Sandra Ulbrich Almazan,
Almost certainly NOT a clone.
So far as we know.
...bona fide scientist AND author.
Sandra has a degree in molecular biology, which I am about 80% sure is a 'science' of some sort, and she our purposes is that Sandra is the author of (among other things) the Catalyst Chronicle series of books in which cloning plays a major role, as the main character is sent to another universe to gather materials to clone her own grandfather.
works in an enzyme lab, which means she almost certainly has superpowers and/or a sort of intelligent mold that she keeps as a pet, but what's important for
FOR NEFARIOUS PURPOSES! Is there any other reason to create a clone? Not that the government will tell you.
Sandra's contributions to IWM include posts about conventions and contests, tips on writing, and frequent essays about the important lessons gained by reading and writing, from role models to diversity. She also writes haiku, and one of her poems appeared in one of our first issues of the IWM magazine.
Poet, author, scientist... almost seems like more than one person could manage alone, isn't it?
Briane Pagel, and Bronze Henry Winkler.
Can you guess which is which?
HINT: The Bronze one is Henry Winkler.
Don't forget, the IWM June issue is on sale on Amazon for just $0.99. That is a FULL PENNY CHEAPER than a McDonald's burger, and I would know. Click here for that.